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Sperm donor re-brands himself as ‘Fertility Solutions Provider’
Just giving a helping hand A sperm donor who grew tired of being labelled a professional wanker has re-branded himself as Britain’s foremost fertility solutions provider. ‘It’s added a classy feel to...
View ArticleIndependent study by marketing agency draws no obvious conclusion
A wide reaching study by one of Britain’s leading multi national corporations, into sexual habits, the North-South divide, class warfare and attitudes to celebrities, has come to no obvious general...
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Waitrose withdraws ‘essential’ range after finding poor people in stores
UK supermarket chain Waitrose has withdrawn its popular ‘essential’ range after discovering that the cut-price products had led to a number of poor people shopping there. The discount brand, launched...
View ArticleDigital marketer lauds Shakespeare’s ‘compelling content’
Tim Crowley, one of Britain’s leading digital marketing executives, has marked Shakespeare’s birthday by hailing the Bard as our greatest ever producer of ‘compelling content’. Crowley, CEO of...
View ArticleShampoo advert sets new record for ‘worst survey result to base a campaign on’
An advert for Pantene Pro-V shampoo has set a new industry standard after the small print revealed that the central claim of the campaign was disagreed with by over 90% of the tiny sample surveyed....
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Samaritans criticised for cold-calling campaign
Following a huge number of complaints to Ofcom, the national charity Samaritans has been criticized for embarking upon a cold calling campaign across the UK. Enraged customers have complained of being...
View ArticleMarketing exec fired for Halloween ‘lack of imagination’
Don Price is the ex-Marketing Manager of The Norwich Broom Store today having lost his job for failing to cash in on the Halloween bonanza. While every other shop in town had managed to find a...
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Taliban launch comeback tour with huge bang
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, or in this case ‘a bicameral national legislature, comprising of two chambers’, it turns out it’s not. Like a blast from the past, or at least...
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Indian bullock cart driver to invest in ‘brand equity’
Bharat Maheshwari, a bullock cart driver from the slums of Mumbai, has announced plans to build up his brand recognition in order to win market share. This will form the centrepiece of his second...
View ArticleShampoo ingredients ‘are evidence of alien technology’
Scientists studying widely used shampoos have confirmed that several of the ingredients ‘are unknown to terrestrial chemistry’. ‘At first we just thought they were made-up marketing words,” said Dr...
View ArticleKleenex admits ‘Mansize tissues’ never were as big as a man
A spokesperson for Kimberley-Clark, the manufacturers of Kleenex Mansize tissues, has denied that the company was giving in to ‘a consistent increase of complaints on gender concerns’ about the name of...
View ArticleDulux marketing team ‘still giggling’ over One Coat product name
The ‘ironic’ naming of Dulux’s One Coat range of paint is the ‘stuff of legend’, according to a company whistleblower. ‘Honestly, ten years on and we still dine out on it. I can’t believe what was said...
View ArticleWoman persuaded by survey data within TV advert
A Daventry woman has been totally persuaded to buy a product by the on screen survey data included as a footnote in an advert, it has emerged. Sarah Jones was watching a L’Oreal shampoo advert during...
View ArticleChoice of best vaccine may come down to flavour
With rival vaccines competing to combat COVID-19, consumers may be forced to choose between more trivial factors; like shiny packaging or does it come with a bendable straw. Now that they all claim to...
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